The New Year

The clock has strike twelve, it is the end of a year, and the beginning of another. Millions of people all over the world celebrate that strike of a clock, partying all night of the last day of the year, and continue to celebrate until the early hours of the next year. For so many people, these counted hours are so special, while to me, it’s just another day that passes by, it’s the same ticking that I hear coming from my watch; it’s the same sun and the same moon, so why do people celebrate the same things while there’s nothing special, I asked myself one day, and I did find the answer that I already knew.

With the end of a year and the beginning of another, people expect that things are going to change in blink of an eye, or at least that’s what they hope. We all, including me, begin the New Year with wishes and hopes that usually end with a great disappointment, speaking of myself, we all have a list of things we are hoping to see changing, or list of things that we are hoping to get as the New Year starts off. For some reason we believe that the strike of twelve at the new year’s eve is a magical moment, a turning point, a moment in which we forget everything for a second and we start thinking in a very positive manner as if things in the world are great leaving pessimism behind and ignoring all the ugly facts that we are going to face once that moment is gone, we think of it as a new beginning though everything turns out to be the exact same the next morning.

With the strike of twelve we make our wishes, and put a big smile on our faces as if our wishes just came true. With the New Year we expect new beginnings, victories, success in career and life, for some people more money is expected, world peace that never was real, painless hearts and souls, clean and comfortable consciences, new interesting people in our lives, new friendships, new love, and over all a happier life.

15 to twelve, I tried my hard to feel the magic in those last minutes left in 2011, I tried to feel happy about the upcoming new beginning, and sad for the ugly past and the present, but it was hopeless, I couldn’t feel a thing, I couldn’t lie to myself because I knew very well that it is just another day, just another 12!

I fell asleep, and that’s how I began my year, sleeping and dreaming some silly dream. It wasn’t special at all because I knew not much would change for me, I am not going to get what I want, I am not going to be any happier, I am not going to find a true love which I started to believe only existed in fairytales, I am not going to find the answers of all the questions I have on mind, I am not getting anything special this year. I was and still pessimistic about everything, but I have this hope in me that tells me my life is going to get better soon, maybe I am just lying to myself so I wouldn’t end up in a mental hospital due to being over depressed, or maybe because I am a human, and human beings always have this little bit of hope inside of them even in the very critical moments where hope doesn’t seem to have a chance to fit in. despite to all those “maybes” I still have hope, though sometimes I think hope is for losers, but the second I remember that sometimes and for some people that feeling we call hope develops due to faith in Allah (God) and faith in all the prayers that I have been saying, I change my mind and I cut that negative thinking immediately, so, as a correction of what I have said previously about having a little hope in me despite to all of the “maybes”, I would like to correct that by saying I have “Faith” in me that tells me my life is going to get better sooner or later, and I know for sure that Faith is stronger than hope, and for that reason it will keep me strong and unshakeable  and would make any day in my life a special one as I will be impatiently waiting to  see the promise that my faith has given me become true.

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