نظرتُ في عينيها
تبدو وكأنـَّها ثـُقِـلـَـتْ ….همومًا
سوادُ الليل ِ يختزلُ تلكَ العينين
وكأنها تحكي أيّامًا مضَتْ،
عبّرَتْ عن ماضي كيانِـهـا بتلكَ …النظرةِ
و بدا الأمرُ وكأنها
I’m not sure where I’m going with this but do please know that whenever I let my writings flow it just has more sense when it all comes to a sighed end. This is not weird it is just my way of doing things. It all comes to this: a spark, a sentence, a paragraph and then a whole new meaning to the world, or to me only.
Here is where I looked back to things where a small significance like for instance a picture reminded me of it and I can’t help but think how did all this happen? How some people who once upon a time who were in my life is no longer in it and now are just a memory. I keep searching and squeezing my brain of what are the things that I did wrong that made them draw away from me, some sudden and some through time, and I always kept blaming myself for this and try as hard as I can to make it possible but all I get is: I did nothing wrong, in fact it was never me it was always them. I never did them wrong and as much as I tried to blame it on something that I did it was never like that because if I had done something wrong to them I would have been eaten alive by guilt because my nature is always like that: constantly disciplining myself.
Then I realized that their existence in my life and everyone’s existence in our lives has a reason. Every person I say without excluding anyone. That person helped us to not trust anyone because they stabbed us in the back. That person made us realized that they took you for granted and you should never show that to anyone or imply it. That person made us realize that there is still some goodness in life. That person’s smile made our day better.
The list will go on and on once you look back to every inch of a time and know that every person existed in your life with a reason either to teach you a tough life lesson or to show you the morals of life and it just makes you feel that you never have or will regret the time that you met them because if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be the person you are now.
I’m a sugar addict since I don’t know to tell you the truth probably through my whole life but it has been going on a constant on and off status. But to speak precisely I’ve been an intense addict ever since I started my vacation two weeks ago. I’m not doing anything really except the following: watching TV, writing, reading and having loads and loads of sugar inside my system. Between every couple of hours I feel the need to eat a cake or anything that has some sugar on it and to tell you the truth I have no intentions on solving that addiction. I like it the way it is and I guess that is my way to try to fill up my time I just can’t wait to start college already.
Yesterday while I was having a black forest ice cream (which is basically just chocolate chip ice cream with chocolate syrup) I was thinking I do not want this to end and mourning over the time there won’t be any ice cream left while I still had loads of ice cream left. I stopped a little and thought : wait a second! Why am I not enjoying the moment and leave the latter for its time to come?
And I’ve realized that in general this is how we are, we human beings just neglect what we have in hand and look to a future of we don’t have and we do have. Why don’t we just enjoy the moment as it is? Leave the future till it’s present and live the present while we have it. By those little twist and turns of thoughts we can see a better way of life.
Just a change of point of view.
I have to cut this short because I have to go, but I guess you’ve got the point right?
Past Post is a post I’ve written in my old blog and reposting it from time to time when I don’t have anything to write and until I could gather up my thoughts.
I challenged myself and said give me any picture and I’ll try to write something out of it and my friend Layal told me to check her latest on flickr (Say MashAllah) isn’t she cute <3.
Here goes :
One day I’ll be something..
One day the future will be in between my hands and I’ll fascinate you.
For I am a girl of dreams..
Do you know what I see?
I see myself a strong, promising, and confident lady…
I’ll be flying over the skyscrapers and way over…
and in the crowd of millions I’ll be noticed.
You know why?
Because I have the look of hope..
True I’m just a little girl today but one day…
One day I’ll be something you’ll always refer to as the strong fighter who achieved.
One Day I will be.
تبعثرت أوراقي بسبب الرياح
دغدغ البرد مشاعري
فلم ألبث إلا قليلا لكي أتذكر
أوراقا حكت ما بداخلي
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