I’m back to life. Technically, I was never in life. I mean I was in life. The only time I time I was in life is when I was in university and I was actually enjoying life through a world of unspeakable pleasures: good theoretical literature and good company. But that ended as soon as it started. Now, I’m in the sidewalk with many other people looking at the cars (specifically at the Bentleys , the Mercedes, the Maseratis …etc) pass by and walking slower than a snail.
Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a sad post. In order to write a sad post you’d have to be sad but I’m immune to what’s going on. I’m beginning to accept life as it is. A slow pace of misfortunes and no can do(s). I understood that your dreams can not be fulfilled unless you have a fortune cookie with your name written in it when it’s cracked or for a better luck, have your name with a hundred titles before it.
Oh, well. Meh.
So, currently I have a desk governmental job. I am an Academic Advisor…tsk tsk. Usually, I finish work at the early and then I just sit wait if someone comes to ask me stuff or to finish paperwork and so on (bureaucratic shit basically) and I catch up on reading or (starting now) catch up with blogging. It’s an okay job. It pays and gives you a sense of liberation (somehow… like in a superficial sense) but that is. I made quite a good company here. A girl who I knew from uni but did not create a bound with her until now. She is sweet and she is amazing. Shout out to you Munira!!
I’m still trying on life. I’m not giving up but this time it’s on a slower pace and with very little to zero hope in the process of “happening”.
Oh yeah! notice something? I ditched “Esperanza Writes” I think by now I’ve grown out of it and I need something that attaches my “I” into it, hence, “Norawithletters” just like my Instagram . My name now exists in the realm of my blogging zone! Yaaay?
On an end note, be safe. Life is what life is meant to be. الحمدالله على كل حال.
I admit it has been a while since I wrote anything. Hell, I don’t even remember when was the last time and what did I write about. I would have to check in order to remember. All I can recall is that I was complaining to my friend when i just had started summer course about how I wasn’t writing as I would like to. Anyway I wasn’t away and that means I am not back. I was just in a hold mood until I was done from summer course.
Speaking of summer course I feel the need to elaborate on this subject a bit. You see this is my first time to ever take a summer course and as it is I never expected myself to be this lazy I mean, aside from not writing, I really had gotten lazy. It is like the almost five days between the ending of the second semester and the starting of summer course was not the tad bit enough to regenerate my brain cells. I just attend the three subjects I’ve taken, try as much as I can to concentrate, think I understand something, and go home not doing anything as if the classes I attended didn’t happen. And then I just ended up the course with grades I am not that satisfied with. Thinking of it now I came up with a few conclusions why did I become that lazy person in this course:
1. It’s summer hence it is very very very very very hot, that it stopped my brain cells from working the way it should work properly. I’m sweating bad more like a guy (and in a not cool gym way but the disgusting you don’t want to speak of way. TMI I know!!) The heat makes me think all the day of going home and classes from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm is a long run from going home. (Did I say VERY hot?)
2. Due to the fact that becoming an semi- A student did not happen until I became deeply involved with literature it made sense that I was not interested in the mandatory but awful subjects that did not include any sort of literature. I preferred to leave the literature subjects for the long courses so I could enjoy my classes to the max. ( A literature nerd you say?)
3. I know that I have mentioned before ( here) that I hate vacations and I still do. But it turned out (and I mentioned that as well) that five days is not a vacation or a breather. I needed two weeks at least to reboot myself.
4. Subjects I took were lame. Extremely lame. One was Kuwait history (that I repeated) and the other one even though it is in the English field but it’s the linguistics side and I just … hate linguistics. Why should a literature student take five courses in that field? .. meh.
Even though I when I was done from summer course I said that I wouldn’t be taking it again because the lack of effort I gave I figured out that I will be taking it again and here is why:
1. When calculated how many subjects I had left it turned out with a summer course and a year and a course (that is 3 courses and a summer course) I would be graduating not this year but next year the first half. I can’t believe I’m this close I thought I still had two years. But because I’m planning to take twelve subjects this year ( that is six subjects per course), three in the summer course, and seven in the remaining course this is manageable. I wasn’t even aware of that!!! Yes I know this a lot of stress but I know I could do it (inshAllah) plus I need to graduate first half of the year so I could complete my masters the next year. Turns out for masters if you graduate the first half the following September you could complete but if you graduate the second half you have to wait for the next year to join (weird I know). So yeah if I want my plan to go well I have to take a summer course.
2. See what I said about vacations? Well yeah a three months vacation is a lot for me that is when I hate vacation. At least I made something useful with my life (even though it is not that useful) instead of sitting at home.
For now I am enjoying my Ramadan and what is remaining from my vacation until next course. I will beginning with my new minor (Comparative Literature) which by the way I’m from the very first students who is minoring in this field in Kuwait University (YAAAY!! I’m excited). It is going to be a course loaded with literature subjects (four literature, one linguistics :(, and one philosophy). Let us see how things go on the way inshAllah all to the best.
I feel like shouting another YAAY for finally writing something YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
One of the things that I feel grateful for is the subject I took through my eight years in middle-high school (mainly talks about how to deal with life and such).
This is something I learned from it and I would gladly add my own words and share them with my readers.
Let’s all view together this scenery ok? Alright … here we go.
You have booked this trip to this bizarre place you wanted to, since ages ago. And today is your flight, you wake up late and you late to your flight. You quickly drive to the airport and run with your luggage. And “BAM” you bump into someone that someone is then throws in a bunch of rude comments. What do you do?
You’ve got two choices:
You can stand there and reply with a rudder comment. And start a fight while there are only a couple minutes to spare to the late flight. Hence, you’re missing on the flight.
Or you could simply ignore and retreat to your path and catch the flight of your dreams.
I know I would go for number two that’s a sure thing. I wouldn’t I repeat wouldn’t waste such an opportunity that I’ve waiting for since forever for a, and I put into quotation, “Stupid” “Worthless” thing.
This is life the flight is your goal you’ve set up for yourself. The rude person is all the obstacles, negative things, along with actually people who put you down in a way or another. Don’t waste your time on such things.
Everything is worthless, a small trifle to your life when there is a divine place to go to.